ACT A range of questions and invitations you might use with clients
What are you doing that gets in the way of what you want?
How does that thought/feeling/behaviour help or hinder you?
How close is that thought/feeling right now?
Notice what you are noticing.
How old is that thought/feeling/behaviour?
Words and thoughts are thin compared with actual experience.
It’s not about getting rid of thoughts: try out some different thoughts and alternate between them. E.g., “I’m unlovable”. “I’m lovable”.
Is there a value you can work on?
Move towards values, not away from pain. Moving away from the pain involves moving away from the values. Find your pain in the values and the values in your pain.
We need our pain to know what is important.
Values are a quality of on-going action that has an emotional connection.
Accessing a value is like pulling on a rope to be sure it is secure and hold my weight. If it is not tight, it will collapse.
What’s really important about that?
The BOLD move rehearsal. What could you do that might move you forward to rediscover a value you have neglected? What do you imagine the first moment in this bold move to be?
What value do you wish to honour?
Values are the battery pack of willingness.
You can’t choose your emotions: you can choose your behaviour.
It’s not about whether you like it: it’s about how open and willing you are.
Is this important enough for you to be willing?
How did your life turn into this life?
What’s it actually like feeling willingness?
If this was in the service of your kids would you be willing?