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PILLARS

Pillar 1 – I am ready to change

I am ready to change. I have lived the way I have for too long. When I began this journey long ago my choices were just that – choices. Now they have grown into an addiction that controls me to the point that I feel I have no control. This process has affected my thinking, my feelings and my being. Those that I love have also been impacted, some have been devastated. But now, I am ready to change and I commit to pay whatever price is necessary to accomplish this. I have already seen the power of bad choices in my addiction. Now I employ that same power but for positive choices. I will use the power of positive choice for the purpose of
recovery and growth. I will begin the change now and I will recover from my addiction.

Pillar 2 – My brain can change

My brain can change. My brain can be my best friend. It can also be my worst enemy. If I do positive things in my life it is because of the neural circuitry that exists in my brain. If I do negative things in my life it is because of the neural circuitry that exists in my brain. Although my brain does not exist in a vacuum, it does work systemically with my body, my emotions; and my spirituality. I have allowed my brain to develop an addiction and my brain has taken control over me. Now I am taking the control back. I will form better and healthier neural pathways in my brain. A neural pathway is a network of neurons that are responsible for behaviour throughout my brain and body. Now I take control to develop healthier pathways in my brain and body. As I learn more about my brain I will become more and more in control.

My brain is changing even as I read this pillar. My brain can change and I will recover.

Pillar 3 – Empathy

In the past my actions have not always been empathic. I have hurt those I love, and most of all I have hurt myself. From this moment I commit to live, feel and express empathy in all that I do. I will think of how, in the past, my addictive and acting out behaviours have impacted those I love. From this point on, as I am compelled to engage in any form of acting out I will stop and feel how this action would impact those around me and then I will act in an empathic manner. From this point on as I am compelled to engage in any form of acting out, I will identify how this will impact me and I will act in an empathic manner. I will also identify how my behaviours may impact those who do not know me. As I am empathic to others and myself my life will change.

Pillar 4 – Consistency

Consistency is a friend of unhealthy behaviours. It can also be a friend of healthy behaviours. Through consistently engaging in unhealthy thinking and behaviours I have developed a pattern of acting out. This pattern has become a mechanism for coping and so unhealthy patterns have come to control my life. Just as consistency has been an enemy, it can also become a friend. From this point forward, I will act consistent with my values and what I believe. I know that with each consistent choice greater learning takes place. As I consistently make healthy choices and avoid acting out, I will move closer to freedom and emotional health. Healthy choices made consistently will facilitate change at a cellular level of my being.
As these cellular changes take place my entire physiology is changing and improving. I will act consistently and I will recover.

Pillar 5 – Frequency

Good choices made frequently lead to lifelong positive changes. From this point on, I will not only make wise choices but I will make them frequently. With each choice that I make, the choice becomes more natural to me. Therefore, I will choose not to make unhealthy choices any more. I will choose to make wise and healthy choices on a frequent basis. This helps these decisions to become a natural part of my very being. With each healthy choice made frequently I will increase my freedom. The more often I choose healthy choices, the stronger I become. I will remember that as I choose healthy actions frequently, my brain continues to change and I become more free and more healthy.

Pillar 6 – Duration

I will lengthen the duration of my healthy choices. I will choose wise choices over an extended period of time. I have started to make healthy choices on a daily basis. I will continue to do this but I will extend the days into weeks and weeks into months, the months into years, and the years into a lifetime. I alone am responsible for these choices being made. As I lengthen the duration of my choices my confidence will increase and I will heal. From now on I will no longer hold others responsible for my thoughts, my feelings, my actions, or my life. I can choose my future and I will do this by making healthy choices for the duration of my life.

Pillar 7 – Intensity

Intensity has been one of my worst enemies. The more intense a stimulus is, the greater the impact it has upon my brain and body. The negative things I have experienced and chosen to take in have been intense and they have shaped my being. From this point forward, I will remember the principle of intensity and I will never willingly allow such an intense and negative experience to come into my life. If I do allow such a thing, I am making a choice not to recover. Healthy changes can be made without intensity so long as I practice and apply the principles of consistency, frequency and duration.

Pillar 8 — Commitment

When I started my journey, I committed to pay whatever price was necessary in order to get well. To this point I have done that but I recognise this is only the beginning. I commit at this time to continue to pay whatever price is necessary and I will make that same commitment every day. As I continue to make that commitment I will continue to become healthier. Life is worth living and living means more than simply surviving. Living means growing and I have now started the process of growing. I will continue to pay the price of growing and make positive decisions to keep myself safe from relapse.

Pillar 9 – Investment

I now know the importance of avoiding unhealthy stimuli and choices. I will avoid unhealthy choices. I will avoid unhealthy stimuli. My choices to not avoid these things in the past have contributed to my current place in life. From this point on, as I have the desire to act out I will remember my values and my vision of a better life. I will act accordingly and I will avoid all unhealthy stimuli. I will pay whatever physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual and financial price is necessary to avoid these stimuli and get well. I will do this because I am making an investment in one of the most important creations in the universe — me. I would choose to walk a thousand miles many times over before I will allow unhealthy stimuli to come into my life again. I will avoid unhealthy stimuli and I will stay well.

Pillar 10 – Gratitude

I have now begun to feel free and experienced living with honesty and integrity and for this I feel gratitude. I will allow gratitude to be a guide in my life. My life is better today than it was several months ago when I began this joumey and I feel gratitude. I have learned to healthily accept and experience both pain and joy with dignity, and for this I am grateful. This learning has also allowed me to feel more grounded in my day to day life. As I stay grounded I think more clearly and as I think clearly, I make rational choices. As I make rational choices I make the conscious choice to stay healthy. Hence, I will continue to feel gratitude. I will find someone or something for which I am grateful, every day. No matter how painful a certain day maybe I will find something to express gratitude for, even if the thing I express gratitude for is the ability to healthily experience pain. For the same mechanism that allows me to feel pain also allows me to feel joy. I will feel and express gratitude and I will continue to stay healthy.

What my patients say...

Tanya helped to calm my anxiety during lockdown via zoom. I was in the late stages of pregnancy and was experiencing anxiety about the birth as restrictions were in place re birth partners and I was afraid of being alone. I also have an underlying fear of being sick. Working with Tanya helped me to relax and make the best of a magical period in my life and I would not hesitate to turn to her in the future and would recommend her.

I have been to many different therapists to control my addiction. In a very few sessions Tanya helped me see me understand how and why I do what I do. She also included some Hypnotherapy which seemed to help me control my impulses – but also start to create a picture of where I was going. I now have the tools to take the next steps.

Male, 42 years - Addiction

Having suffered from depression most of my life I didn’t have any high expectations though I badly wanted to feel better in myself. I would highly recommend Tanya and I haven’t stopped singing her praises. Although I still have some ups and down, they don’t overwhelm me as I have the tools to deal with it now.

Male 47 years - Depression

Since the Covid pandemic I knew that I had to find an alternative method to dealing with my needle phobia which wasn’t crying, panic attacks and fainting. I thought I would never be able to feel better or even look at a needle. But through hypnotherapy and desensitisation techniques, Tanya has helped me face my fears. I’m so proud! I even had the courage to hold a needle, something I never thought would happen! She has made me feel confident, and I now don’t feel the need to avoid needles.”

Female, 26 years - Phobia

Having suffer with severe anxiety and panic disorder since I was 16 hypnotherapy was suggested to me after I had tried everything else! It has been a life saver! And it has worked, I can finally breathe again. Tanya has been fantastic understanding me and my mind and has provided me with the tools to finally live my life normally. Thank you!””

Female, 27 years - Anxiety

Thank you so much – Not only have I stopped my sex addiction I’ve got my self-esteem back and my family life; You also managed to sort out my IBS in the process 🙂

Female, 34 years Anxiety and Addiction

When I came to you, I had lost a relationship through porn and was spending way more money than I had. Now I understand the background to my addiction it has helped me in all areas of my life – including a new relationship with a much deeper level of communication

Male ,44 years - Depression and Addiction

Cheers – although I still use porn, I’ve stopped using it as much and prostitutes – I know the porn may have to go at some point but at least I now understand the science behind it and what I am up against and at least now I feel I am making choices.

Male 24 years – Porn Addiction

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